Giving Thanks for an Anniversary

I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving for some reason. I mean, I enjoy gorging myself on turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, pies and the like – who doesn’t, let’s be honest? I also have great memories as a kid/teenager of going to the Thanksgiving HS football game and playing in the marching band or seeing old friends who returned to our small hometown from wherever they are in their lives. Given that I grew up about a half hour south of NYC, it wasn’t uncommon for my family to go into the city the night before and see the giant balloons being inflated for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade and then watching the parade on TV or even in person the next day.

Those traditions are nice, and I love those memories, but for whatever reason, Thanksgiving has never been a holiday that I’ve particularly looked forward to. For better or worse, it wasn’t a day when I reflected on all that I was thankful for and certainly wasn’t something I led up to for the entire month of November by posting what I’m thankful for on Facebook. I could kind of take it or leave it.

Last year, my perspective on the holiday changed forever. One year ago on this day in 2012, about one week before Thanksgiving, I went to my primary care doctor’s office to take care of a cough that just wouldn’t go away. I walked in the door thinking I would be on my way home maybe an hour or two later with a prescription for some cough medicine and an antibiotic with plans to head to my in-laws for Thanksgiving two days later. As it turned out, I ended up in the radiologist’s office that afternoon and the ER by that night, and after a contrast CT scan, I was I was told that I had a 13 cm mass in my chest cavity that was most likely a cancer of some type. I was wheeled out of the hospital nine days later after a stay that included being diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and my first chemotherapy treatment.

One year later, I’m ecstatic to say that I’m in remission and finally starting to feel like my life is getting back to normal. I hate to be hack-y and hokey, but my cancer diagnosis and treatment forced me to take stock of all the things that I’m thankful for…an amazingly supportive husband who has made me laugh everyday of our 14 years together, a family who has stood behind me every step of the way with brave smiles on their faces while trying to hide their fears (and tears), and wonderful friends, some of which drove from many miles away to just say hello and sit by my side when I was diagnosed and who continue to be a great source of support. I’m grateful for working at a top notch institution with familial-like co-workers, for having excellent health insurance and a stable job waiting for me once I finished treatment. I also thank my lucky stars everyday for my exceptional oncologists who have gotten me to this point, a primary care physician who cares about her patients as if they were family, oncology nurses who are tough as nails, and hospital support staff who truly give everything they have to their jobs to help heal others.

What I’m most thankful for now, on my one year diagnosis anniversary, is the perspective cancer has given me and the wake up call I received to make me realize that, among other things, I should be grateful for everything I have every day, not just for one day, or even one month, out of the year. It is important to take the time to thank those around you for everything they’ve done, and continue to do, for you. A simple expression of gratitude takes next to no time out of your day but can mean so much to those around you.

As I sat in a hospital bed last Thanksgiving and watched the Macy’s Day parade while eating a Thanksgiving “dinner” for lunch, I wondered if I would ever see another Thanksgiving or holiday season. Would I get to go to another Thanksgiving Day HS football game in my hometown? Would I ever get another chance to go into NYC for the Thanksgiving Day parade? Would I see my family home so beautifully decorated at the holidays? Would I live to see Jeff’s and my kids running down the stairs to open their Christmas gifts?

One year later, I can say that I have every intention of seeing all of those things and more and for all of that, I’m thankful.

So as not to end things on too serious of a note…I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

http://youtu.be/baHYCpXKP0s

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